Y’all, it has been a whirlwind! And it is safe to say things have taken a turn for the amazing!! And I’m giddy exhausted about it!! Like as in giddy only seen in dreams or movies and exhausted like yearning for the next cup of coffee before you finish the one in your hand.
The last year I have had trouble coming up with coherent thoughts on life. There are two reason for this, 1.) it has seemed like God has continued to lavish blessing upon blessing on us. It has been overwhelming in the best way, but also in a way that was often without adequate description and 2.) exhaustion is real!
This past year we loved almost every minute of being Bridger’s forever family (only with the exception of nights when sleep eluded all of us). Our son, Bridger James, is now a year old and a walking, talking, little giggling hurricane. He is a blast, so funny, so smart, and for the most part a complete joy…that is until he looks at me when I tell him “no” and continues to launch food across the kitchen, or throw a block in the direction of another child. It was about 6 weeks ago when I fully realized that my first born was a sinner. Parenting changed then and I wonder how other parents do it without God’s grace and wisdom. But in all seriousness, Bridger is a joy! His hugs, snuggles, giggles, and chatter leave my heart so full!!
And there came our surprise blessing…I mean sort of…. little Bennett Union joined our family in September and made me officially a “boy Mom” and a mother of two under two. And if people wonder if it is as exhausting as it sounds, it is!! Without question! We found out we were pregnant in January and to be honest I don’t think it seemed real until huge discomfort came from carrying a 20 pound baby on the outside and a 7 pound baby on the inside. Getting on and off the floor while playing with your infant child who was still not mobile while being 8 months pregnant in the heat of summer isn’t for the faint of heart! But we all survived the pregnancy and as our reward we got an adorable little boy who has wormed his way into our hearts for good! He is now three months old and his smiles are the best!!
Children change marriage. I remember people telling us how important date night is, and now I know how absolutely vital it is! Sometimes I miss Jonathan even though he lays right next to me every night. Date nights do happen (not as often as we both would like) and when they do I’m often too excited to leave with him that I sometimes forget to say goodbye to my babies. They say being a wife needs to be prioritized above being a mother and quite honestly I have a hard time remembering this when I’m covered in spit up or the beeferoni that Bridger launched in my direction at lunchtime. Marriage is more work now, but it is work that I enjoy and work that is totally worth it!
Now can I tell you how fun it has been to watch Jonathan be a father?! His little chats every morning with the boys to tell them to “take good naps and don’t be to hard on your mom” or their pj routine every night… it’s adorable! And makes me fall in love with him in a whole new way.
Sometimes I think motherhood has made me less of myself, or my intelligence has been put on the back burner (since I think only of dirty diapers, development milestones, when my child ate last, or when will they learn to blow their own nose?) But could it be that motherhood has made me more of who I am supposed to be?
So here’s to another year of snuggling my babies, changing more diapers, looking like a fool to get baby giggles, loving my husband better, more date nights, being in The Word and prayer more, and continuing to try to be the wife, mom, and woman God wants me to be.