…closer to being parents of the child God has for us.
It is a weird thing to not have any plans for the next 18 years, but that is exactly what we have been dealing with since last month’s failed adoption. We had completely cleared our calendars of most responsibilities, travel, and projects with exception to the family wedding that we planned to introduce our child to all our Sireci family. One day we were going to be parents…and the next day we weren’t. One day I had 12 weeks of maternity leave ahead of me…and then next day, I was figuring out what work would look like for me. One day we thought that God was saying it was our turn…and the next day He told us that now isn’t our time.
That being said, all things considered, we took this failed adoption pretty well. I was less sad and more questioning what God really has planned for me after practically quitting my job in preparation to be home. This loss was nothing like the loss of Little One or Norah Maye. I think we just found ourselves wondering what to do with all the momentum we had build up toward our lives changing forever, and then finding that our lives were just the same.
So relatively speaking, this past month didn’t bring much change at all. Weekends come and they go, we appreciate the rest, but generally find that we just wish we had a child to hang out with and love. We have continued our busy lifestyles with work and play and church and community and family. We continue to be so grateful for all those people waiting and praying with us. We praise and serve a Great God in spite of the fact that we often wonder why he leads us down paths that just don’t seem to make sense. He is still so good and quite honestly, I can’t imagine going through life without His sustaining power!
This coming week we celebrate our Norah Maye’s 1st Birthday. I miss her terribly, and although tears still come sometimes, generally I think of her and I am so grateful! I realize more and more the vessel she was to bring me closer to the Lord. I am different today because God put her in my life and so we celebrate her birth because of the miracle she was and the ministry she had.
And so we look ahead with excitement and anticipation to what the coming months will bring. Waiting on the Lord to say, “IT’S GO TIME!” We told our social worker that we just want to know when the baby is ready for us. We don’t need any warning, because we are READY! And when I say ready I mean car seats are installed, formula and diapers are bought, bottles and baby clothes are washed, nursery is completed, diaper bag is packed kind of ready. Give us an hour and we will be on our way!
You know, no one ever said that adoption would be easy. Actually, people said it would be really really hard. And I sort of believed them, but quite honestly, I thought our adoption would be different. And now, can I just tell you…adoption is really really hard.
The last month and a half have been a whirlwind…here is kind of how it went. A match, a meeting, a ton of preparation, a plan, a name, a nervous birth mom, a week of texting with the birth mom, a baby, a mom’s change of mind, a failed adoption, anger, tears, a reminder that God is still in control and still good and a realization that that wasn’t the child God intend for us.
I’m sick of being a downer when it comes to news like this, so I am choosing to stay positive about it and so totally hopeful and anxious to learn why God wanted us to live the last month or so like we did/have.
Our wait continues knowing and trusting the Lord that He will put our child in our arms someday…hopefully sooner rather than later.
And on a positive note, look how adorable that bunting looks in the nursery!!
The crib is here, the car seat is here, the rocking chair is here, the baby is….not here. Folks, the waiting continues and that is about all I have to update on. But can I tell you some things that I am thankful for in this wait?
- I am so thankful for the friends and family waiting with us. I love being asked about how the adoption is going because I love that we aren’t waiting alone. I love that there are people all over the world waiting for this baby with us!
- I am thankful that the finances for this adoption are completely provided. We don’t need to worry about how the bills will get paid when the baby comes, we will just get to enjoy being parents!
- I am thankful that I was given the tidbit of wisdom early on that we aren’t waiting on a birth mom or on our social worker to call us, we are waiting on God and his timing.
- I am thankful for hobbies, work (as much as I am sick of it), for friends/family, and for vacations that distract and entertain.
- I am thankful that although these two months of officially waiting have been long, they have brought us 2 months closer to meeting our baby!
Y’all, God is up to something really good…and I have no doubt He will clue us in when He thinks we need to know more. Until then, wait with us! And if you want, you can share our online profile site…the more exposure the better!
We are so encouraged and grateful by the outpouring of support and love the last two weeks. What a blessing to have people from all over the country coming on this journey with us. And to be so close to our goal already?!! We are in awe of those who have heeded the call to help us either in prayer or financially! We don’t take it for granted and we are so thankful that you have chosen to follow the Lord’s call to help! Thank you!! For update #2 I thought I would clue you in to where we have been, where we are now, and where we are going in this adoption journey.
Where we have been: The best way to describe where we have been is a timeline of events over the last 5 months. It has been lots of paperwork, lots of prayer, lots of talking and lots of learning.
The day we submitted our formal application!
- Nov. 3rd – Preliminary Application Submitted
- Nov. 30th – Personal Statement of Faith Submitted
- Dec 3rd – Adoption Info Meeting
- January 28th – Formal Application Submitted
- March 1st – Application Approved!!
- March 4th-5th – HOPE Conference Training, Little Rock, AR
- March 8th – First Home Study Interview
- March 12th – Baby Basics Training, Rogers, AR
- March 16th – Second Home Study Interview
- March 22nd – Third Home Study Interview
Where are we now: We are waiting. We don’t know how long we will be waiting all we know is that we have NO control and the Lord has ALL control. After meeting with our social worker in March 22nd we were told that we would become an official waiting family in the beginning of April (this week or next). Until then, we are waiting for our profile books to be delivered to our home and then promptly dropped off at the Bethany office.
After we are an official waiting family we are just that…a waiting family. There are about 20 waiting families right now in Arkansas, which generally is a good thing because it means our wait may not be very long. When we went to the initial info meeting back in December we were told that it is highly likely that we will have a placement sometime this year. They also said that a placement could happen as soon as we become a waiting family. So to put that clearly…we could have a baby next week…next month…this summer…this fall…next winter…who knows??? The Lord knows!!
We are trusting the Lord in our waiting…and probably buying a car seat soon…just in case 😉