I’ve been thinking about healing lately. I’ve been thinking about what it looks like and timelines of “normal” healing. I’ve been thinking about life, how it has changed, what happens now, and what contentment looks like while longing for Heaven.
I have had some pretty great weeks to be completely honest. It almost feels weird to admit that…it seems too soon for great weeks. Our Norah Maye has been gone for 7 weeks just yesterday and while I carry her with me always, my life after Norah is coming together…which I believe is entirely a God’s grace thing. I have been able to make conscious efforts to jump start my life again and it has honestly been a pleasure. I walked out the door the other day and thought to myself, “How lucky am I to work doing what I always dreamed I would be doing!” It was such a sweet moment of recognizing that despite hard times, God’s grace is so abundant! But it isn’t just the big things like my job…it is the little things like laughing until my tummy hurts, singing on the worship team again, remembering and talking about Norah without tears sometimes, bottomless cups of coffee, fall colors all around me…isn’t it all God’s grace? What a blessing!
It has been 7 weeks which seems like just a short time ago, but I feel like I have grown leaps and bounds. I feel like healing is happening…has happened. I can say so much more confidently that God is good. Grief is hard but it is a beautiful journey if you decide that despite grief, within grief, and because of grief God can work in you. He has been good and I feel like I have done this grief thing well.
I sang in my car today…not just sweet little singing, it was all out at the top of my lung singing with the music cranked up so loud I was a little nervous the speakers would break. It felt great! I sang the lyrics, “You’re a good good Father…it’s who You are…it’s who You are…it’s who You are….And I’m loved my You…it’s who I am…it’s who I am…it’s who I am!” I sang it and I believed it and it was wonderful!
I’m so grateful for what God is doing today…and I know that days like today could quite easily be followed by days when grief bites hard. But the hard days can be made a little easier when days like today happen too!