She was perfect. Woven together so intricately. So tiny. So precious. So lovely. Ten little fingers and ten little toes. Two sweet little eyes and a button nose. A sweet little mouth. A chest where her heart once beat and little lungs and rib cage so small yet so obviously molded together with such love. She was perfect. Her arms and legs had elbows and knees and wrists and ankles. Her fingers had tiny little finger nails and her eyes, precious little eye lids. Her ears were so small, but still so present. She was perfect.
God was there on Tuesday. He was in that room with me and my people. He was with me during each contraction and cramp. He was with me during the tears, the pain, the heart break. He was faithful yesterday and gave us unbelievable grace every step of the 11 hour process.
We arrived at the hospital a little after 5am and were greeted by my good friend, Alyssa, who would be our nurse for the beginning of the morning and would stick around to see us through the delivery. The induction medicine was administered around 5:30 and the waiting began which was followed shortly by the pain. Cramps and contractions were consistent eased only by pain meds which were administered only after my anxiety and fear got the best of me and uncontrollable body shakes couldn’t be stopped. I feared and worried about the pain ahead, it all being over, the unknown of how and when labor would actually happen, and seeing my sweet daughter. The pain medicine helped ease the pain and anxiety a great deal, that along with prayer and squeezing Jonathan’s or my mom’s hands through each birth pain.
My water broke around 2pm which only led to more cramping and more waiting. In the 11th hour our Norah Maye was born. Safely, simply, in an unexpected moment, and without pain her physical body entered this world with the help of Alyssa and our other nurse, Leslie. The cord was cut and Norah was moved to the scale to be cleaned while I finished the labor process. So much grace. With a 15 minutes delivery process she was born at 4:15pm on September 15, 2015.
The following moments were so precious and so perfect. Jonathan and I knew without any doubt that although we held her in our hands physically, she was being held so much tighter in the hands of her wonderful Savior and Creator. We gazed upon her in her beautiful perfection and were in wonder and awe of our Jesus. We had time alone with her and shared memories with her, how God has used her in our lives and in the lives of so many others. Jonathan said it all too well…
“I can’t help but be in awe of how she literally embodies 2 Corinthians 12:9…”But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Norah is weak by every human measure and yet, in the Lord’s hands, she was used to work in many lives and in many ways that continually surprised Meghan and I. All human life has purpose, even in its most feeble form. He is good, she is perfect, and they are together. Praise the Lord!”
I kissed my sweet daughter on her hands, her feet, and her little button nose. She was so fragile and so sweet. I cried tears of sorrow, pain, joy and relief. So many emotions that all seemed normal. We kept her for a while, held her and took in all we could of her lovely little body and then it just seemed right to let her go. We knew she wasn’t really with us anyway, we have sweet pictures of her to remember her here on earth, we kissed her, loved her, prayed over her, and we let her go.
Norah Maye has only known love and what a pleasure it was to provide her that love here on earth. And now Jonathan and I make the choice to live each day here on earth with each other and for our Lord while waiting with anticipation to love on our babies when God calls us home.